Of course there were many exhausting and challenging aspects of mothering young children, but something that seemed more abundant in that stage was regular bestowals of validation. 

Genuine smiles from the newborn who has just learned to focus on your eyes. 

“You’re the bestest draw-er ever.” 

“How’d you run fast like a race car, Mom?” 

“Mama, you made my owie better.” 

Even angry tantrums are soon forgotten and replaced with hugs.

 “Thanks Mommy”, “You can play with me”, “I love you the mostest!” are just a sample of phrases taken for granted at the time but then yearned for once these same kids get into their “I already know”, “don’t be so embarrassing”, “I don’t need your help”, and “whatever” teen era. The once proclaimed Super Star of a mom became a “total cringe” in the blink of an eye!

While we may miss and even resent not receiving the same validation of the past, it’s important to realize validating adults and boosting their confidence is not a teen’s job. Continue in efforts to teach respect and appreciation but it is crucial to tap into other sources of validation. 

Friends and people in own social circles can feed the desire to be heard and understood. Tuning in to the wisest, calmest parts of ourselves as well as visualizing encouragement from our past and future selves can be a great way to find an intrinsic source of validation. The very surest source of confidence, however, comes the Spirit of God.

To ponder: How do you personally tune into the Spirit for assurance and strength? Can you think of a time when heaven provided the validation and direction you needed?

-Carmelle Bench

*Disclaimer: My experiences and perspectives are not definitive nor exhaustive of the vast and differing journeys of motherhood. The purpose of these entries is to help you reflect and find encouragement on your path.